When Is Adultery or Fornication Committed? (Zacharias T. Fomum)
I never intended to write this tract. It came upon me as a result of my daily meditation, heart-search and communion with God.
That day, the 16th of November, 1989 I was meditating from Luke 18:20 where the Lord said to the Jewish ruler, "You know the commandments: Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour your father and mother." I decided to spend one meditation period of two hours in examining my heart and life before the Lord on each of the commandments that was given by the Lord in the above passage. I will just write out what I wrote in my meditation book that day as adultery. I believe most of it will apply to fornication.
I commit adultery if I do any of the following:
- I go to bed with any woman apart from my wife
- I caress any woman to cause her to attain sexual fulfilment.
- I allow any woman to caress me to make me attain sexual fulfilment.
- I masturbate myself.
- I kiss a woman secretly, be it on the hand, jaw or lips.
- I embrace a woman secretly.
- I squeeze a woman's hand secretly.
- I caress any part of a woman's body: hand, face, back, and so on, with desire, even if this is done in the public.
- I caress any part of a woman's body without desire, but in a way that I would not want anyone apart from her to know about it.
- I write a love letter to a woman that I would want kept secret, i.e. between her and me.
- I call a woman a "Pet-name" that I would not want anyone to know exists, showing the fact that the intimacy is cloudy.
- I cherish a letter written by some woman that I would not want anyone to read or know about.
- I pay a visit to a woman which I would rather no one knows about.
- I receive a visit from a woman which I would rather not have people know about.
- I read an immoral story.
- I look at an immoral film.
- I gaze at the picture of a naked woman or one who has some parts of her body exposed.
- I deliberately look at a woman's "private part" in a moment of her being off-guard or when she dresses with the goal of exposing herself.
- I think an immoral thought about any woman.
- I imagine myself having any form of sexual relationship with any woman.
- I speak an immoral or suggestive word to others.
- I sing an immoral song.
- I listen to an immoral song with some delight.
- I go out of my way to seek the company of women rather than that of men, in carrying out spiritual projects, where the motive is not the greater availability of the women, but just because of the love of their company.
- I prefer to witness, lead to the Lord, build up and establish in Christ, women rather than men.